Serving Up Romance: The KFC Dating Simulator

In the works for a couple of months now, the absurd KFC dating game was released on September 24th, and is surprisingly good.

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Lacey Cintron

A young and buff Colonel Sanders seductively winking through the screen.

Colonel Sanders riding a horse in all his glory, because why not.

Ever wanted to date Colonel Sanders? The vast majority of us would probably say no, that’s pretty weird, but I’m not talking about the old man figurehead of the million dollar franchise that we know today. In KFC’s seemingly random release of a dating simulator, the Colonel is suddenly a young, admittedly good-looking, driven entrepreneur with big dreams of making his magical fried chicken a household staple, whom you can romance.

The adorable talking corgi, Professor Sprinkles, who is also an expert on cooking.

 

   In the game, you take up the persona of a promising culinary student starting their adventures in a famed culinary college alongside your best friend. You meet a colorful cast of nine characters throughout the gameplay, including a talking dog who also happens to be your professor and a sentient dishwasher, as you do. As you progress, you learn different recipes and better your cooking capabilities so you can, of course, charm the Colonel himself. There’s one obstacle in the way of your mission of seduction though; Aeshleigh, the girl constantly throwing odd insults your way, and more importantly, trying to steal your man.

The classic bucket of fried chicken, which are seen amongst many KFC menu items.

 

 

And of course, it wouldn’t be a KFC game without featuring a plethora of cameos of fried chicken, mashed potatoes, and the like. The food for some reason also has the ability to transport you into different dimensions and cause multiple existential moments, but it fits in with the rest of the enjoyable absurdity of this game. Experience ultimate cooking showdowns and intimacy with the Colonel in this new form of KFC propaganda.

If you can somehow get over the fact that your romancing Colonel Sanders, this game is dumb fun for a solid two hours. The artstyle of the game is surprising really well done, and all the characters are unique and vibrant in both design and personality. The writing is what you would expect from a dating simulator made by a fast food chain, but could be worse. As dumb as the premise is, the game is very self aware of that fact, which is half of what makes it enjoyable in the first place. 

Overall, this game is worth playing for two reasons; it’s free, and you can say that you have indeed played a dating simulator made by KFC. It’s currently available for download on Steam, being released on September 24th.